Thursday, July 4, 2013


For whatever reason (and for whatever it may be worth) this is the final paragraph, which didn't make it into the book (hardcopy):

Rules can feel restrictive and yet liberating. Sometimes, following the Grindr rules I feel mechanical, but I also understand they create a framework to interact within and knowing them makes each step feel more certain. Arrive at Grindr with a playful mindset, viewing it as a game—it'll make the rejections feel less stinging and the interaction more fun. Slow down the perusal of guys: check out one profile at a time to weaken the assessment mode. Message more people, because these apps are numbers games, using favourites to sort and blocks to clear, and, for better or worse, don't necessarily believe what people write. Remember that visuals count, and pick your profile image accordingly. Create profiles that are easy to understand, as to reduce ambiguity. Take a page from Twitter and Facebook and update profile pictures often (even if it is hard to let go of that super-cute picture from a few years ago) and attempt to go real-time because it introduces novelty and will draw more interest. It's okay to follow the Grindr script, because it helps reveal what each person is looking for. If it leads to an in-person meetup, do it immediately or within a short period to avoid shopping cart abandonment. Keep yourself sane by not setting crazy expectations upon the encounter (like love, for example). Use Grindr as an excuse to see the town, as you'll also draw new men on screen. And finally, don't depend on just Grindr, because it is the Cookie Crisp cereal part of the a [sic] complete breakfast.

All of which parts may seem obvious … but nicely put together, I think, as a whole.

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