Leave it to Cheever (sorry)

Our first in-person meeting of 2026 (Jan. 7) will be devoted to John Cheever's controversial novel, Falconer. In anticipation of that discussion, I wanted to share this Atlantic article about a new memoir by his daughter, Susan Cheever, Home Before Dark, in which "she searches for the wellspring of her father’s genius—and digs through his secrets," Adam Begley writes.

I found this excerpt from Begley's review particularly telling:

"Perhaps the eeriest example [of her quest to understand her father] ... is her interview with her father when she was a 33-year-old working at Newsweek; the cover story was a profile of him just after he’d published Falconer (1977), which features a love affair between the protagonist, incarcerated for fratricide, and a fellow inmate. The journalist daughter asked, “Did you ever fall in love with another man?” The novelist father artfully replied that it could indeed happen, “but I would think twice about giving up the robustness and merriment I have known in the heterosexual world.” Robustness! Merriment! She then asked point-blank if he’d ever had a “homosexual experience.” Instead of answering in the negative as she expected, he said, “I have had many, Susie, all tremendously gratifying.” A dreadful pause before he continued, laughing, “and all between the ages of 9 and 11.”

"She took that as a no and soldiered on with the interview; the curious exchange was printed in the magazine. And she continued to think of her father as straight until she started reading his journals a couple of months after cancer killed him, at age 70. She decided that she should be the one to reveal his sexuality, and resolved to find “a loving way to do it.” Tender, sad and respectful, Home Before Dark is a proud daughter’s elegy for an unhappy parent."

Notes on the final section of "Secret City"

As always, I'm grateful to Mike Mazza for sharing his extensive, detailed notes on James Kirchick's Secret City: The Hidden History of Gay Washington, which we'll finish discussing on Dec. 17. These notes cover the second half of the Reagan section (Chapters 38-41), as well as the George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton presidencies. Enjoy!

Note: The citations (e.g., loc 78, 8%, etc.) below refer to the Kindle edition, not the paperback.

Secret City—Reagan notes, updated.

Chapter 38: “‘Them’ Is ‘Us’”: p 567; loc 10389; 52%.

—Bob Bauman comes out of the closet in a speech.

—CAIR, organization trying to make Republican Party more gay friendly.

—Rock Hudson and the Reagans: 569. Larry Kramer calls out Nancy.

-“the era’s decadence and hypocrisy”: 571.

—impact and stigma of AIDS.

—Rock Hudson’s AIDS diagnosis made public: 573.

—inappropriate jokes about AIDS and homosexual in the Reagan WH: 575.

—Reagan ignores AIDS crisis in his memoir: 577.

—Bill Buckley, his wife Pat, and her gay male companions: 579.

—Bill Buckley’s vile suggestion, in a 1986 column, that all people with AIDS be tattooed as a warning sign.

—John Ford stands up to an attempt to blackmail him with a threatened outing to Secretary of Agriculture John Block: 582.

Chapter 39: “‘Our Sebastian’”: p 583; loc 10693; 54%.

—young death of gay conservative activist Terry Dolan.

—controversy over reporting AIDS as Dolan’s cause of death.

—WH speechwriter Tony Dolan’s problematic eulogy for his brother; Brideshead Revisited reference.

—separate memorial to Dolan held; attended by gay conservatives: 588.

—The Washington Post’s Bradlee decides to pursue the Dolan story: 589.

—Tony Dolan tries to convince Post reporter Elizabeth Kastor to abandon her article about Terry Dolan: 590. He continues his attempts to stop the article.

Chapter 40: “Mr. Green”: p 594; loc 10898; 55%.

—introduces Carl “Spitz” Channell, founder of conservative activist group.

—Channell attends a pro-Contra presentation by Oliver North.

—Channell: a gay man who had started his career working for Terry Dolan’s NCPAC: 595.

—Channell’s anti-Communist zeal: 596.

—He starts his own Channell Corporation. Bauman visits his office.

—Channell’s efforts in the work to raise money to support the Contras in Nicaragua.

—Channell and Oliver North: 597.

—Reagan signs a letter endorsing the work of Channell’s organization: 599.

—Channell’s staff: “‘Those gay boys of Oliver North’s’”: 599.

—gay staffers on Republican campaigns: 600.

—“‘a perverse form of self-esteem’” comment on gay staff of right wing politicians (p 600); my note: cf Bill Maher’s comment to Larry King that “hating yourself can be the greatest love of all.”

—the ugly side of Channell : 601.

—Margaret Scattergood’s activities after the death of her partner Florence Thorne: 602.

—Channell and Fawn Hall: 603.

—Grifting by Channell? He pleads guiltily and fingers Oliver North. Role of “Fruit Loop” in the scandal. Irony of the elitist closeted gay cabal within the Iran-Contra scandal.

Chapter 41: “The Wonderful, the Creative, and the Brave”: p 607; loc 11,137; 56%.

—introduces Republican Congressman Stewart B. McKinney: a married father living a secret gay life in Washington.

—McKinney: 1st Congressman to die of AIDS: 607.

—the Washington Post’s approach to reporting on McKinney’s death and life: 608.

—before his death, McKinney writes a letter in support of a Connecticut state gay rights ordinance: 608.

—After final unsuccessful attempts to get Tony Dolan to speak on the record, the Washington Post publishes Kastor’s article on Terry Dolan and the gay conservative closet: 610.

—Washington Times runs Tony Dolan’s rebuttal of the Kastor article as a lengthy paid advertisement: 612.

—in his diatribe, Tony Dolan claims Terry rejected homosexuality in a deathbed conversion.

—Drama behind Reagan’s speech at an amfAR benefit dinner: 613+.

—Tony Dolan’s rage against WaPo continues: 615.

—Bob Bauman pops up again: 616.

—Openly gay Dr. Frank Lilly appointed by Reagan to new AIDS commission: 617.

—Gary Bauer in the Reagan administration.

—the 2nd March on Washington for lesbian and gay rights: 619.

—unveiling of AIDS quilt.

—1989 death of Chasen Gav er: 621.

Secret City—Bush, Clinton, conclusion—updated.

George H. W. Bush

Chapter 42: “Naming Names”: p 625; loc 11,448; 58%.

—decline of Craig Spence.

—Washington Times reporter Paul M. Rodriguez uncovers gay prostitution business operating from a DC-area funeral home chain.

—The Times’ many articles about Spence: 629.

—The Washington Times’ “institutional bias against homosexuality”: 632.

—the 1989 “White House callboy story” eventually fizzles out.

—failed homophobic smear campaign against Representative Tom Foley: 634.

—The Frank Rule on closeted gay hypocrisy.

—Spence dies of an overdose in a hotel room: 636.

—Washington as “simultaneously the gayest and most antigay city in America”: 637.

—Andrew Sullivan introduced: 638. His 1989 article making a conservative argument in favor of gay marriage.

—term “outing” coined in 1990: 638.

—Queer Nation’s outing of DoD spokesman Pete Williams: 639.

—continued paranoia among closeted gays.

Bill Clinton

Chapter 43: “A Profoundly Important Strength”: p 643; loc 11,752; 59%.

—Candidate Clinton makes history by explicitly appealing to gay voters for their support.

—in Clinton administration, Roberta Achtenberg becomes the first openly gay person to receive Senate confirmation for a cabinet department position: Assistant HUD Secretary: 645.

—1993 LGB March on Washington.

—“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”: 645.

—DOMA: 646.

—1990s AIDS toll.

—Leonard Matlovich’s tombstone: 648. Its cultural significance; his military service.

Conclusion: “The Gay Century”: p 651; loc 11,890; 60%.

—the Sumner Welles scandal recalled.

—Assessing the damage caused by homophobia: 652.

Photographs: p 654+.

Acknowledgements: p 655

—author’s work with Larry Kramer’s papers as part of a Yale College seminar. His interviewing of Kramer.

—author’s friendship with Frank Kameny.

—OPM’s formal apology to Kameny; First Lady Michelle Obama presided over ceremony.

—archival research.

—Rainbow History Project: 659.

—thanks to Christopher Hitchens: 660.

—his debt to those affected by anti-gay bigotry: “Even when it seemed that America had given up on them, they never gave up on America.” 660.

Photography Credits: p 662.

Sources: p 664.

Books: 670

—Balcerski, Bosom Friends (Buchanan and King): 670.

—Beachy, Gay Berlin: 671.

—John Boswell

—John Horne Burns, The Gallery: 672.

—Chauncey, Gay New York.

—D’Emilio, Lost Prophet (Bayard Rustin): 673.

—Doris Faber, Life of Lorena Hickok: 674.

—James Fisher, Dr. America (Thomas Dooley).

—Barney Frank, Frank: A Life in Politics.

—Griffin, All that Heaven Allows (Rock Hudson): 675.

—Alan Helms, Young Man from the Provinces.

—Andrew Hodges, Alan Turing.

—David Leavitt, The Man Who Knew Too Much: Alan Turing: 676.

—Ian Lumsden, Machos, Maricones, and Gays (Cuba): 677.

—William Mann, Wisecracker (bio of William Haines).

—Gordon Merrick.

—Jay Parini, Empire of Self (Gore Vidal bio): 678.

—George Plimpton, Truman Capote

—Susan Quinn, Eleanor and Hick: 679.

—Gary Schmidgall, Walt Whitman: A Gay Life.

—Craig Seymour, All I Could Bare: 680.

—Michael Sherry, Gay Artists.

—Justin Spring, Secret Historian (Samuel Steward bio).

—Tim Teeman, In Bed with Gore Vidal: 681.

—Nicholas von Hoffman, Citizen Cohn.

—Gregory Woods, Homintern: 682.

Notes: p 683

—Complete Prose Works of Walt Whitman.

—John Ibson, Men Without Maps: 688.

—Richard Plant, The Pink Triangle.

—Claud Cockburn, 697.

—author interview of Bob Bauman: 725.

—Oliver Stone’s JFK: 741.

—the Brideshead Revisited teddy bear phenomenon as experienced by Christopher Hitchens: 782.

—Larry Craig scandal: 783.

—Mark Robert Schneider, Gerry Studds (bio): 787.

—Saint Sebastian and gay culture: 791.

—“a perverse kind of self-esteem”: 794.

—The wordy Tony Dolan strikes again: 796.

Mike M.'s notes on "Our Evenings"

As always, I'm grateful to Mike Mazza for sharing his extensive, detailed notes on Alan Hollinghurst's Our Evenings, which we'll discuss on Dec. 3.

Mike comments: "This book made quite an impression on me! In addition to my usual overall thoughts and chapter summaries, these notes include some other features, including a thematic commentary and a character breakdown."

Note: The citations (e.g., loc 78, 8%, etc.) below refer to the Kindle edition, not the paperback.

—————-

Our Evenings notes

—a novel by Alan Hollinghurst

Thoughts on completing the book

—The novel tells the story of first-person narrator David Win, biracial gay son of an English single mother by a brief liaison with a Burmese man while she was working in early 20th century Burma.

—The book has an epic sweep chronologically, as it follows Dave’s life from his teenage years at boarding school, to college, to his career as a stage and screen actor and book author, and finally to his death at around 70 years old during the time of the COVID pandemic.

—A big part of the story is Dave’s coming of age as a gay man in Great Britain, and his three serious gay love relationships.

—Also an important continuing element in the book: Dave’s relationship with schoolmate Giles Hadlow, who grows up to be a right wing, pro-Brexit MP.

—Also important is Dave’s relationship with his mother Avril, who settles into a long term lesbian relationship and business partnership with widow Esme Croft.

—I started reading this book tentatively, giving it a chance, but also thinking I might abandon it if it failed to hold my interest. Well, I found the book truly captivating. I honestly couldn’t predict the various plot developments and new character introductions; I really felt like I was going along on a journey of personal discovery with the narrator.

—Hollinghurst does a fairly solid job of balancing out the intimate personal story of one British life with nods to the political and cultural events affecting Britain as a whole along the way.

—Also important is the presence of books and literature, including both classic and modern stage plays, throughout the book. Hollinghurst’s characters live in a world in which drama, poetry, and other types of writing are a vibrant part of the fabric of life.

—This is a fairly long novel, 488 pages in the Kindle version, but it is well paced and almost never drags. I feel that Hollinghurst got the right length to tell this story.

Important/recurrent themes:

—voyeurism.

—nudity in the context of acting and art modeling: 343; 380; 449; 484.

—the gay “closet”; secrecy and shame; see p 306 (Dave’s inner thoughts while showing boyfriend Chris his hometown); 338.

—Homophobic language and casual anti-gay bigotry.

—British colonial legacy in Burma.

—race, racism and narrator’s biracial heritage. See p 273; 313 (statue of Burmese boy in longyi at Derry’s house); 339 (implied interracial adoptee background of Hector); 355; 377 (Dave’s conversation with Brian Mitchell); 449 (playing a Cambodian character in a play).

—class difference and wealth. See p 276; 285 (“our plutocrat friends”); 337 (Dave and Hector both “broke”); 347.

—an actor’s professional progress: 350, 356.

—note also the recurring presence of both classic and modern theatrical works throughout the narrative as narrator Dave Win and other characters progress through their theatrical careers: p 405 (discussion of Hector’s stage roles during Dave’s book festival appearance).

Additional thoughts; spoiler alert!

—I find it interesting and noteworthy how he tells a parallel gay coming-of-age story with a lesbian love story.

—Book title referenced within the narrative: 448.

—This book has some interesting parallels to Hanif Kureishi’s important novel _The Buddha of Suburbia_. Both books feature a first person narrator who is the biracial queer son of an Englishwoman and an Asian man; both narrators embark on careers in acting. Beyond these parallels, these are very different books. Probably the biggest difference is that Kureishi’s novel encompasses a much shorter time frame in the late 1970s, leading up to the election of Thatcher. Also, whereas Kureishi’s narrator is surrounded by a rich and diverse group of family and friends from his ethnic group, Hollinghurst’s Dave Win spends most of the novel as the sole Burmese-Briton. A related big contrast is Dave’s absent father as opposed to the father in _Buddha_ being an important key character—in fact, the title character!

—I find it noteworthy how Hollinghurst ends the novel by killing off the first person narrator and having another character finish the story with a short first person epilogue. This technique reminded me of the way Alex Haley concluded _The Autobiography of MalcolmX_, which is one of my favorite works of 20th century American literature.

Special vocabulary notes

—longyi: p 200, 461; a cloth worn as a clothing item in Burma.

—subfusc: p 237; formal clothing worn for university exams.

—aegrotat: p 253; a certificate for a student unable to complete a final exam due to an illness.

—gaung-baung: p 70; 462; traditional Burmese head wrap.

—Zimmer frame: p 383; a walker.

—Osmiroid: p 435; name of a British pen company; in the book the name is used to refer to a pen.

Individual chapter and section notes follow.

Prologue

—introduces narrator Dave, an actor

—Mark Hadlow, an elderly businessman, has died.

—Giles: Mark’s son, a “Brexit Minister.”

—Dave has a meal with Mark’s widow, Cara.

Part I

Chapter 1: p 14; 3%.

—story shifts back in time; Giles and Dave

Chapter 2: p 19; 4%.

—Giles introduces Dave to Mark.

—Dave attending boarding school Bampton.

Chapter 3: p 26; 5%.

—Cara’s uncle George.

—Dave’s background.

—George takes teenage Dave to see Ernest, a bull.

Chapter 4: p 33; 7%.

—Cara shows Dave her painting of Lydia.

Chapter 5: p 38; 8%.

—Dave on a car ride with Mark and Giles.

—they pick up Gran at train platform.

—Dave’s father was from Burma; he discusses his heritage with actress Elise Pleynet at Hadlow home.

— Dave and Elise discuss boarding school play.

—discussion of acting roles for people of color.

—Giles calls Dave “Winny”; his last name is Win. The two are in bed together. Giles kisses Dave and leaves.

Chapter 6: p 50; 11%.

—Dave speaks French with Elise.

—Plutocracy game; Dave plays this board game of global economic domination with Hadlow family.

—note that Dave is “the Hadlow Exhibitioner.”

—in bed later, Dave reads his school copy of Twelfth Night.

Chapter 7: p 59; 12%.

—Elise helps Dave with his acting practice for the school play.

—Dave is about to depart the Hadlow home.

Chapter 8: p 65; 14%.

—Mark drives Dave home.

—Dave’s Mum, Avril Win, introduced.

—Dave meets Esme Croft, a client of his seamstress mother: 67.

—last week of spring holiday: 71.

—Mum’s memories of Rangoon.

—Dave listens in secretly on a shared telephone line and hears a man talking about his mother: 80.

Chapter 9: p 83; 17%.

—introduces Manji.

—“The Fathers’ Match.”

—Dave self conscious about his absent father; tells schoolmates his father was killed: 86.

—cricket match.

—Mum arrives with Mrs. Croft.

—Fathers win the match against their schoolboy sons.

—Mrs. Croft drives Dave and his mum home.

—Dave reflects on reading books about Burma that he got from Bampton library: 97.

Chapter 10: p 99; 21%.

—summer holidays.

—Dave and mum on holiday trip with Esme.

—Marco: hotel staff.

—Dave doesn’t want the women to know he ogles men on the beach.

—Dave discusses the telephone party line with Esme Croft: 111.

—Esme asks Avril about Burma.

—Esme was a typist in the office of the Governor who “handed over to the Burmese,” Sir Hubert Rance: 112.

—my note: Rance was Governor from 1946-1948.

—Dave meets Tim, who accidentally enters his hotel room.

—the three travel companions overhear someone use the word “poof”: 117.

—Dave sees crude sexual graffiti in beach latrine.

—He realizes someone had spied on him through a hole while he pleasured himself in the beach latrine.

—Dave joins Marco when he sees him having a drink and s smoke.

—Dave trues to listen in on sex in neighboring hotel room.

—Dave drives the trio back from the trip; enroute switches driving duty with Esme.

Chapter 11: p 132; 28%.

—Dave and mum observe Christmas with family. Multiple new characters introduced.

—Esme Croft discussed at family gathering; her ex-husband referred to as a “fruit”: 136.

—Shirley asks Dave if there are any other “coloured boys” at his boarding school: 138.

Chapter 12: p 143; 30%.

—back at school.

—Giles makes a classist insult to Dave after Dave performs a comic literary reading for classmates: 144.

—school “Field Day missions”: 145.

—assignment: secure a taped interview with someone describing WW1 incidents from his own experience: 146.

—Dave suggests Giles’ Uncle George.

—The Three schoolboys visit Uncle George: 153. The interview begins.

—George describes his work in wartime horse procurement: 156.

—mission completed, Dave and Cousins resolve to hitchhike back to school while Giles drives off for a meeting with a young lady. Cousins gets a ride, leaving Dave on his own. —While hitchhiking, Dave confronted by angry motorist who tells him to go back where he cane from: 163.

—a policeman picks Dave up; drops him off at another location. Another driver picks Dave up; introduces himself as Jeff.

—Jeff seems like he is cruising Dave; he gives Dave his phone number before dropping him off near the school.

Chapter 13: p 173; 36%.

—Dave and faculty member Mr. Hudson listen to music together; Dave later describes meeting as Record Club business: 175.

—“Our Evenings” is the name of a selection the two listened to: 176.

—Hudson and Dave continue their musical sessions.

—discussion of proposed homosexuality decriminalization bill: 179.

—Hudson writes a letter to Dave during summer break: 181.

Chapter 14: p 183; 38%.

—Mum and Esme move in together. Their business together as a “cover.” (Lesbian relationship?)

—Barry: does garden for Esme’s house: 186.

—Dave suspects the two women have a lesbian relationship, but they seem to avoid revealing it.

—the three settle into a routine together.

—Esme’s circle of friends named: 190. Esme and Avril host a party.

—Dave meets a new young couple at party, George and Julie.

—Dave sees partygoer Betty Matthews kissing another female guest: 193.

—Dave completes his first term at Oxford: 196.

—Uncle Brian calls the house; tells Dave that Avril is no longer welcome in his house: 197.

—the three spend Christmas at home together; Esme is delighted when Avril wears a longyi, a Burmese clothing article: 199-200.

Chapter 15: p 203; 42%,

—Dave in a play, Volpone; we meet castmate Stella and other new characters. Nick hangs out and parties with them.

—Dave meets Nick.

—Dave still a student at Oxford.

—speculation about supposed homosexuality of play director Douglas Marshall: 212.

—Edwin introduced.

—Dave and Nick step away from the party together and have a romantic encounter: 221.

Chapter 16: p 227; 47%.

—Dave plans an outing with Nick.

—Walt joins them on their river excursion on a punt.

—Dave practices lines from the play for them.

Chapter 17: p 254; 49%.

—Dave takes a school exam. He seems to be rattled by a question on British rule in India when Burma was still part of the Indian Empire: 235.

—Dave departs exam; appears to be in a state of crisis: 237.

—he goes to the house where he had partied with his friend group.

—He meets Nick and Jenny and tells them that he had left the exam site.

Chapter 18: p 243; 50%.

—Dave’s tutor Humphrey tries to help him after exam crisis.

—Dave returns home.

—He meets Nick in London. Nick seems to cut off any chance for any romance between the two.

—Dave gets a letter inviting him to read for a theatrical part: 254.

—during family dinner, Esme asks Dave about his meeting with Nick; they all seem to be avoiding explicit mention of gay love or identity until Dave frankly states he is in love with Nick and announces “I’m a homosexual”: p 256.

—Esme acknowledges that she was married to a gay man: her ex-husband Gilbert.

Part II: p 260; 54%.

Chapter 19: p 262; 54%.

—Mark and Cara drive to Greenwich to see Dave in a performance of R&J (adaptation of Romeo and Juliet).

—Raymond Fairfield (artistic director of theatrical company Terra) suggests that Dave solicit a donation from the wealthy Mark.

—on the phone, Cara reads from a play review which mentions Dave’s “mixed Burmese heritage”: 265.

—Dave joins Mark and Cara Hadlow at a party at the Upshaw home; Norman Upshaw is the employer of the Hadlows’ son Giles. Dave and Giles are reunited at the party. —Dave meets prior acquaintance Martin Causely at the party: 272.

—Dave meets Chris Canvey at party. Chris: a civil servant about 10 years Dave’s senior.

—Back at Hadlow home after party; Dave reflects on their wealth: 276.

—during a quail dinner at their house, Mark and Cara Hadlow discuss their adult children, Giles and Lydia, with Dave: 281.

Chapter 20: p 284; 58%.

—Dave goes to Chris Canvey’s house. He reveals he is actually a lodger; Dave also meets Claudia, who owns the house.

—Dave spends the night with Chris.

—continued progress with tour of Romeo & Juliet.

—Dave’s description of the multiethnic members of Terra: 290.

—Team also rehearses for upcoming play Lear: 292.

—yet another play: 293.

—Dave meets with Chris in London: 295.

Chapter 21: p 298; 61%.

—Chris writes to Dave while he is on tour acting.

—Dave brings Chris home; introduces him to Avril and Esme.

—Dave, upon request, shows Chris around his hometown: 306.

Chapter 22: p 309; 63%.

—Derry Blundell and Bill Severne introduced, together with their house, Great Gores. Bill had died the previous year.

—Dave visits Derry.

—Derry comments on the nudity in the play he saw.

—Derry shows Dave a picture of a man he calls Tony Sein, and identifies as “a great love of mine.”

—Derry discusses his 43 year “on and off” relationship with the deceased Bill.

—Derry prepares to perform oral sex on Dave. Later, he shows Dave his garden.

—upon leaving, Dave suggests that Derry provide financial patronage to Terra.

—note that Dave is very conscious of Derry’s apparent particular interest in men of color.

Chapter 23: p 324; 66%.

—play rehearsal.

—Dave’s castmate Hector kisses him. Dave is attracted to Hector.

—Dave brings Chris to a Terra troupe party hosted by Jack: 329.

—Dave and Hector kiss in bathroom at party.

—Dave and Hector have their first night together in a hotel: 335.

Chapter 24: p 336; 69%.

—Dave breaks up with Chris and begins a relationship with Hector.

—More info on Hector. He was born in Liberia; sees his parents on Sunday when not on tour acting. He shares a flat with white fellow named Perry.

—Dave feels hurt at not being introduced to Hector’s family: 338.

—Hector reveals that his parents are white; implication is that he was adopted.

—Nick teaching at Sussex; married to Jenny and expecting second child together: 339.

—Hector reveals to Dave he has been working as a nude art model at Molleson’s school; he invites Dave to party at Molleson’s.

—Art students and instructor Mr. Trivet call Hector “Henry.”

Chapter 25: p 345; 71%.

—Dave notes that he barely thought of Giles for a long time in the 1970s.

—Dave runs into old school mate Alec Adams in Edinburgh.

—Dave stays in touch with Mark and Cara.

—Hector gets an acting job for a season at Stratford: 349. He only gets small roles.

—Mortifying incident where Julie mistakes Hector for staff; hands him her coat: 353.

—Hector’s role as Bernardo in Hamlet: 353, 355.

—Dave visits Hector in the dressing room during a performance: 356.

—a tense train ride after the performance: 359.

—Hector let go by RSC.

—Hector rejoins Terra for a new John Arden play.

—Dave and Hector visit the hotel that Dave had stayed in with Esme and Avril: 361.

—Dave and Hector refused a room at a bed-and-breakfast: racism, anti-gay bigotry, or both?: 363.

—they take a room at a pub.

—Hector gets a part in a Hollywood movie being shot in Toronto: 367.

—Dave misses Hector as he ponders their drifting apart and the seeming hopelessness of a future together: 368.

Chapter 26: p 369; 76%.

—Dave back at his old school after 26 years to give a talk.

—He meets other alumni at school, including Giles.

—at alumni gathering, they mention an absent alum who reportedly died of AIDS: 374.

—Dave meets Brian Mitchell, a black man who teaches English at the school: 376.

—Dave recalls that he had been “Hadlow Exhibitioner” in 1961: 376.

—Dave discusses his ethnic heritage and acting career with Brian.

—old classmate Kim seems to be hitting on Dave: 381.

—Dave visits his mum and Esme after the alumni event. Esme has been affected by a stroke.

—Dave tells his mother about a filmmaker planning to include Dave in a documentary about East Asian actors: 382.

Chapter 27: p 385; 79%.

—Aftermath of Esme’s death.

—prep for Esme’s funeral: 386.

—Dave and Avril meet with female vicar Annette.

—Avril and Esme had been together nearly 40 years: 387.

—Esme’s funeral service.

Chapter 28: p 397; 82%.

—book festival. Dave invited to talk about book he has written.

—Giles also to speak at festival; he is a noteworthy right wing MP.

—Before his scheduled session, Dave shares with his interlocutor Richard Roughsedge his negative memories of Giles bullying him at school: 404.

—During Q&A portion of his book event, Dave talks frankly about his relationship with Hector, and responds to gossipy questioning about his school days with Giles. —after their own book festival events, Giles and Dave engage in book signing together with a third author/participant: 409.

—Richard comes to one of Dave’s plays: 414.

—Dave goes home with Richard after the play performance.

Chapter 29: p 421; 87%.

—In 2012, Giles becomes Minister for the Arts.

—Dave and Richard attend an event at the British Museum.

—Giles attends a musical performance in which Dave has a speaking role.

Chapter 30: p 432; 89%.

—Richard and Dave discuss whether 91 year old Avril should still be driving: 435.

—Avril dies; Dave is 68: 439.

Chapter 31: p 443; 91%.

—narrator Dave describes a photo, dated 1945, of his father.

—Dave at work on a new book: 445.

—Dave considers titling his in-progress autobiographical book “Our Evenings”: 448.

Chapter 32: p 453; 93%.

—rehearsals for a new play.

—Brexit vote: 454.

—shock and sadness after the vote.

—Dave and Richard attend the estate sale of Avril’s effects: 457.

—back at the house, Dave goes through mum’s clothing with her long time friend Jane.

—Jane finds Avril’s longyi: 461.

—Jane tells Dave what she knows about his father.

Chapter 33: p 466; 96%.

—Cara asks Dave to read a poem for a memorial gathering, for the deceased Mark, that she is organizing.

—Dave meets Giles’ son, also named David, and his male partner Jonny: 470.

—Dave talks with Mike Kidstow, an old school chum of Mark’s.

Chapter 34: p 474; 97%.

—Driving back from Wales.

—Dave and Richard visit the Hadlow home that Dave had spent time in.

Unnumbered and untitled section: p 477; 98%.

—told first person by Richard.

—Dave is in the hospital after an attack by an assailant who had used a racist slur and an anti-gay slur.

—COVID pandemic.

—severity of Dave’s injuries from the assault: 480.

—Dave dies in the hospital.

—Richard works on Dave’s unfinished autobiographical book.

End of book.